A New School

I'm sorry I haven't been writing as much as usual, but I've been so busy with S.Q.U.A.A.A.A.A.K.Y. That's short for Scurvy's Quick Undergraduate Academy of Anti-Aeronautic Avians Against Killing Yourself. It's a school I set up for the flightless birds of New Zealand so that they can learn the most critical skill a bird can learn (if in unorthodox ways). My students were a bit skeptical at first, "Why should I take lessons from the same animal that eats my eggs?" the Kiwi asked.

"I already know how to swim, why fly?" said the penguin.

"If I die because I jump off a cliff, there'll only be 146 of my species left," the Kakapoo complained.

"But birds were meant to fly!" I exclaimed.

"Says who," said the penguin.

"Says evolution!" I said. The birds looked at me with a blank stare. "You know...Darwin's finches?" I said.

"Finches are jerks," the kiwi muttered.

I could see I wasn't getting anywhere with these guys, so I brought out my SQUAAAAAKY spokesbird, an albatross I had met on the way down.

"Land sucks," he sighed funereally. This was basically his central thesis. He went on and on about land like it was a dead family member he really didn't like anyway. He was very convincing, and eventually they all caved. Then he somberly flew back to the sea.

We started with bungie jumping so they would get used to the whole in-the-air thing. Now we're at the glider phase (with Kennan's help, I designed gliders like mine for each of them). The kiwi is having the most trouble. I guess some birds weren't meant to fly, but I'm determined that SQUAAAAAKY will succeed. Merry Christmas

-Scurvy-