Scurvy Cousteau

A few days after my last message, I woke up one morning, and the boat was stopped. I was still stuck in the engine room. At one end of the room was a bowl of canned greenbeans, and at the other was the hamsterwheel. I hated greenbeans, and I loathed hamsters, but that's another story. Then I heard the door click open, so I grabbed my weapon of choice(a screwdriver), and brandished it, ready to confront Captn Fraingck. But it was not the Captn. It was the boys. I came up to them thinking they had come to rescue me, but instead they stuck me in a ziplock bag with a straw glued in a hole in it, sealed the bag, and before I could protest threw me out the aft window and just before I hit the water I blacked out.

I woke up a couple of minutes later trying to figure out why Logan and Kennan threw me in a bag and THEN in the water; when I noticed that I was sitting on a piece of paper. I opened it up, at the top it read, "Instructions to the Rat-Specified Submarine." It was full of helpful information and diagrams like "stick tail in breathing tube when diving." "Great," I thought,"now all I have to do is find out how to drive this thing." I scanned the page, but there was nothing. I looked around me but there wasn't anything that looked like a means of propultion. I looked at the back of the manual in despair,and noticed that at the very bottom it said "Good Luck",and that did it for me."WHO THE HELL PUTS 'GOOD LUCK'ON AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL, FOR A SUBMARINE WITHOUT A PROP!" I screamed. That's when I saw the shark, and I blacked out again.

I next found myself on sand. I quickly crawled out of the "submarine" reflecting that all the hamster-wheeling must be making me soft. So I staggered over to a nice-looking coconut tree with a hole in the bottom of it. I crawled into the cool, dark cave for a rest, and was about to drift off to sleep when I heard a large ssscrrrrttkkkk behind me. I turned around and saw a large, no not large, massive, no that doesn't cut it either, a BEHEMOTH sized crab claw, and a proportionally sized crab behind it! I ran yelling at the top of my voice, thinking for the entire 50 yards, "Don't faint, don't faint, don't faint." When I finally stopped I noticed a wide sandy path and remembering the saying, "All paths lead to Rome," I decided to see what the place was like.

To put it lightly, I was disappointed. On one side was a house that looked ready to crumble at the first high-wind warning. The other house was two stories high, the bottom was open so that it was more of a house on stilts. Above the entrance was a sign "Suwarrow Yacht Club", inside were two intimidating looking local guys, one was bigger but had less hair, the other was smaller (relatively speaking) and had more hair. I wisely snuck away to eat coconuts for the rest of the day.

That night there was a party on shore. The boys found me and asked me how I liked my new submarine. I told them my "little" driving dilemma. Kennan groaned, "Aawww" and Logan heartily slapped his forehead. Then they argued about what means of propultion to use, so I went and had myself another coconut. The next day, my submarine had the thumbs of some latex gloves sticking out of it, and on the back of the manual it said, "Stick legs it leg sleeves and kick to move," with a helpful diagram to go with it. Ever since then snorkeling has been great.

-Scurvy-